One Buddhist’s Thoughts on Death

by Roberta Ness

A Zen Perspective on Grief, Impermanence, and the Meaning of Life

Today is a special day because I’ve brought along a guest. Let me introduce you to Shindō Neely Atkinson, a Zen Buddhist teacher who’s been gracious enough to contribute to this blog. Last week I mentioned that Buddhists hold a different relationship to death than do Westerners, so I asked Neely, from his experience as a decades-long devotee to Buddhism, to share his thoughts on our favorite topic. Here’s what he says.

I have lost dear people in my life. But in many ways, they are not gone. I lost my wife in 2007 and I will never see her again but she remains with me. She had a wonderful smile, which she shared with everyone – waitresses, checkout clerks - who would return her smile and then sometimes pass it on to their next customer. Whenever I see someone smile, I wonder if maybe that smile was started by her. In that, and other ways, she continues in the world, spreading the same joy and peace that she spread in her life.

The Middle Path

Death is a central fact of our lives; there is no escape. In pondering this truth, you must make a choice: to obsess over death or to ignore it. If you obsess, you may find life meaningless. If you must die one day, why even try to accomplish anything? Why love anyone if they are only fated to break your heart when they depart? The other extreme is to ignore death. You can lead your life seeking only pleasure and status and wealth, all of which are fleeting and ultimately unsatisfying…